My Neighbor Takes a Page From Monsanto

Just when I really got into the kale... so did our old friend next door:




















I have no problem sharing the fruit trees. But the kale? Really??

I wouldn't mind so much if he left me some. Currently, I'd rather let the rabbits eat it than a belligerent old man who hates me.

When this was discussed, he tried to negotiate. (via proxy of course, because he really can't stand me. two weeks ago, he was walking down the driveway with their caretaker and she pointed me out to him as i crouched in my yard weeding. he said, i think, "raaaah" as he walked faster and flapped his arms in a sort of dismissive gesture. maybe he is an ostrich...)

Apparently, he has decided that all generations of kale belong to him. I can't help but feel like I'm not paying for the privilege of being his grocery store. It's bad enough just to know that this land doesn't belong to us. It's bad enough when they pull up or step on plants I want. There's a primitive kind of anger that kicks in though, when you know that some old man just lays claim to everything you plant, simply because he feels like some of it once belonged to him.

Anyone who has ever planted mint knows how prone to escape it is. And anyone who has ever gardened knows that there are precious few seeds magical enough to produce crops without any tending.

I know he knows this, because it's not like he doesn't garden. In fact, today I had to go call 911 when he fell in his yard, and heard him hollering for his 90 year old sister. And he could even bring himself to talk to me like a civilized person when he needed help. When the firemen got there, I receded so he could have a little dignity. They've been there before and he likes them.

So today, I celebrated Cesar Chavez Day, mostly thinking about property rights... but at heart, I am obviously a communist. You can't just leave old men bleeding on the ground because they've been obnoxious. And in such cases, it sure is nice to be able to get on the phone and call nice burly men in a truck to patch him up. I know they say good fences make good neighbors, but I'm starting to think Frost had some much nicer neighbors than I do. Mine require strong local government services.